I’m inspired to write this by my #1 Grandson, Kanayobi, who is 2 years, 10 months.*
Sometimes I say to him, “I missed you,” or “I will miss you,” depending on the context. After this past weekend, I am convinced that he took those words to heart.
He identified with the feeling and the longing that those words conveyed and independently chose to respond with a show of compassion.
We had spent the previous 5 days together on a trip into the English countryside. He’d slept with me in my room for 3 nights. We parted when we returned to London, he off with mum and dad and baby brother to their flat, me to mine. That evening he quietly shared with my daughter that, “Grandma will miss me.”
Two days later, after we’d played in the park until nearly bedtime, we were on our way to his flat when he stated, “I want to sleep in your house, Grandma.”
Yes, we did weekly sleepovers, however these were arranged without his consent—Mum and Dad enjoying a well-deserved break. No, in this moment, I had a strong feeling that he was choosing to sleep with me, not because he wanted to be away from his parents—he gets homesick and has never chosen to sleep away from them but because he was concerned that I would be sad.
During our storytime before sleep, he asked, “Are you happy I sleep with you?”
It surprises me that someone so young might be so emotionally tuned in but then I remember that my daughter, too was emotionally intelligent from a very young age. My friends would call her an “old soul” from she was three.
I think for the next couple years I’ll be more cautious about saying that to my grandsons, that I’ll miss them, and I want to be sure to reinforce that one can miss somebody and move through those feelings to acceptance and contentment.
Pam
*PS: I’m once again returning to mama p. writes as i recommit to writing… there is so much i have to say :)
Thank you!